Yet another career path

I’ve always been a multi-tasker.  I think that I could certainly fit a few hours a week in boarding planes for the airlines.  I just know I would be a natural.

  “Good afternoon folks.  We’re just about ready to start boarding flight 666 to Boston.  If there are any sweaty, overweight people standing in the boarding line before I’ve even called out a row, please move right to the front.  We’ll be seating you first.  Next, if any of you are planning on acting like four-year olds when the plane lands by jumping up, fighting to grab you stowed luggage and elbowing folks in your efforts to get off the plane first you too can come to the front of the line.  We’ll be upgrading your seats to first class.  If any of our older passengers plan on sighing and shaking their heads constantly while whining about the slightest inconveniences of normal travel, please stand-off to the side.  We’ll be pairing you up with normal human beings.  Those of you with carry-ons that are clearly too large will just have to wait…you’ll be seated last.  Any of our younger, female passengers wearing revealing clothing and needing the overhead several times during our flight will be seated next to the dirty minded, clearly not in your league half-assed bloggers who won’t be able to help themselves from burning a hole through what little you are wearing with their eyes in an effort to see a little side boob or the holy grail, half and ass-cheek.  And thank you again for flying Jet-Blue.  Now give us just one last-minute to make sure that all of the T.V.’s except for three are working.” 

 

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