Scott Swicker and the Wailers

(file photo)

Just in time for Christmas its the compilation of spirit-crushing, soul-stealing non-uplifting-at-all classics that will make you want to slam your head in the door of a car that’s in neutral while it simultaneously runs over your foot.  From the baritone original that started it all, ‘I don’t know what happened, I must have forgot to set my alarm’ to the heart-wrenching tear-jerker ‘I don’t deserve that‘, there all here on one unforgettable disk.

Shed a tear to the legendary falsetto ‘ssssiiiigghh‘, or jam a red hot knitting needle into your ear to allow the repetition of ‘are those pogies still frozen‘ to flow freely.   Rock out to the proverbial kick in the junk ‘who’s that?’ or break out your best line-dancing moves to ‘it’s gonna be a long one‘.  And just when you think you’re clawing your way out of the emotional hole you’ve plummeted into, fall back in with ‘it’s your fault‘ and ‘I don’t see the end of this one‘.

It’s like the Smashing Pumpkins and Adelle had a baby and raised the child on shattered glass and puppy tears to reach the level on mind-splitting shrill in ‘I wish I could help you‘.    And if you act now, we’ll throw in the bonus tracks that will make a fetus reach out of its pregnant mother’s uterus and grab her by the short hairs: ‘Are we going?’ and ‘the itch I don’t dare scratch‘

Call in the next ninety seconds and we’ll include the short novella by aspiring author/sternman Doug Maxfield entitled ‘If I can’t make his voice leave my head I’m going to chew on a hand grenade‘.

Also included in this introductory offer is exclusive footage of the Scott Swicker dancer:

Offer valid only while supplies last.